It's probably a good idea to highlight the fact that none of the following are set in stone beliefs that I hold oh-so-dear. This is just an amalgamation of my current everyday questions, plain and simple.
Oh and by the way I don't have the answers for any of them 😊.
Surely women wearing makeup every day is not very feminist...-y? Would it be more acceptable if men wore make-up often too? Would it be better if no-one wore it? Wouldn't that make it shameful to wear make-up if no-one else did? Should make-up be shameful? No. But then it is no coincidence that the majority of people who use it often (at least from my own experience living in the UK) are women. The vast majority of make-up advertisements are also targeted at women. In my opinion, this is not good because it insinuates that the way women look needs adjusting using these products whereas men do not need these particular items at all. I aim this query at myself as I am one of the many females who does not feel particularly 'decent' leaving the house without at least a little slap on. Hmmm...
If feminists support individuals who identify as transgender or those who practise drag does it follow that there are such things as 'feminine' and 'masculine' traits when inhabiting one of those two sexes? As these behaviours are associated with females and males respectively, is this promoting unhealthy/inaccurate stereotypes of the male and female gender? Would it be possible to have the best of both worlds and allow a man to dress in high heels and skirts (and vice-versa, I have to say that I personally haven't seen a lot representation for women who like to dress in suits and ties and the like...why?) and say that he is exhibiting '*insert new word here*' traits as opposed to 'feminine' traits?
Do men get to say that they 'understand' the female struggle? I would certainly exercise caution in saying that I (as a white British citizen) 'understand' the struggle black people have had to/ continue to experience. Yet, through discussion, research and an active interest it is possible for one human to gauge and learn a lot about another person's/ an entire group of people's day-to-day challenges. Is that not a form of understanding? Do women get to say that they 'understand' men's struggles? I've never had to endure conscription like the men living in South Korea (conscientious objection was only legalized there in November 2018) and I hope I never do.
As feminism - or my definition of it - promotes the equality of the sexes, should it be called something other than 'FEMinism'?
Further, how would feminism bridge any gaps that could very well still exist between the sexes if everyone started to identify as gender-neutral? Not something I imagine we have to worry about at the moment as I - yet again drawing on my own limited experience - have yet to meet anyone who identifies as gender neutral, and therefore don't think the world is in danger of having to find an answer for this theoretical situation immediately.
Do we as women in the UK perpetuate our own problems (see my first paragraph)? I honestly think we do need to take care with certain habitual practises. An example of this is mothers being - sorry not sorry - TOTALLY, unbearably, obsessed with their fucking sons (see Amy Schumer on mums being jealous of their son's girlfriends - its gold). Doing everything for them is NOT GOOD on too many a level, and I will be writing about this in greater detail in another post. Another is girls being catty about other girls when they feel threatened, thankfully, this seems to be waning a little, but definitely needs more work. And finally - one of my favs -women's magazines focusing on make-up, body weight, sex and food. Unbelievably, women have anger issues, broken cars and urges to go exploring new places (and no I don't mean 5* hotels in pissing Dubai who the hell can afford that?!?), so would be good to see some of this covered.
(Side note: plenty of the men that I have spoken to about feminism throw this argument that it's all our own fault in my face as if it negates everything that some men have done - AND CONTINUE TO DO - to women. In addition it is only fair to say that a huge amount of guys are perfectly receptive to feminist discussion 😊).
Is it right that some influential women in the music industry who say they are dressing how they want to dress when wearing essentially only underwear, who sing mainly about sex and relationships and being crazy because they want to, and are literally altering their faces with surgery because they want to, also get to say to their fans (including our lovely youth) that they are feminists? Is it right that they are accused of not being feminists purely because of the way they dress/ dance/ have surgery or injections or because of their song topics? Are they really subverting the male gaze or are they playing to it whilst simultaneously claiming to be feminists to win over both audiences and survive in their career of choice? Are they being exploited by the people they are surrounded by or is it their decision to act the way they do? Is it a bit of both?
Should we support people who have been revealed as woman-bashers even if they have publicly apologized and admitted they need help? Do we condemn them forever or punish them for a little while or leave it to be dealt with by the parties involved?
For that matter - should we call people who claim to have been subjected to rape/abuse/similar 'victims'. Is that presumptuous? Doesn't it place the burden of proof on the accused by assuming their guilt? For this subject I would highly recommend reading The Secret Barrister chapter five.* It's goooooooood.
I don't know! What is a feminist to do?
As always, I would love to hear any notes or thoughts on any of these issues, especially since I am pretty at sea with a lot of them! Ta for reading and take care,
Abs
xx
*'The secret Barrister', The Secret Barrister (MacMillan: London, 2018)